I’ve recently joined a forum, and as part of the getting-to-know-you process, we have posted a little information about ourselves. I’ve been struck by how many people present themselves in quite a negative light – focusing on their failures, disappointments and discontentment about themselves and their lives. Others admit to an ongoing struggle with low self-esteem and doubts about their own worth, but are working on ways to overcome these barriers to contentment. Still others celebrate who they are, with all their imperfections and inexplicable foibles, and seem to embrace life with a lighter heart as a result.

I got to wondering how much our stories about ourselves – the way we describe ourselves to ourselves and others – affects our enjoyment of life. Most of us have encountered hard times; most of us have felt we have let ourselves or others down at times; and most of us at one time or another have had doubts about how much we really count in the grand scheme of things.

The difference with a negative life story and a positive one is the attitude we have to those circumstances and experiences. Do we define ourselves by what is lacking, or do we celebrate and build on what is good? Are we emphasising our perceived faults or identifying our strengths? Have we drained ourselves of energy and optimism by focusing on all that has gone wrong, or are we looking to the future with hopefulness and enthusiasm by building on what has worked for us?

* How empowering is the story you tell about yourself and your life?

* What difference could a small change in attitude make to how you feel about yourself and your life?

* Could a significant shift in focus give you increased contentment in your present circumstances and renewed enthusiasm for the future?

Due to issues with my website, it has been rebuilt over the last month or so. I’m still experienceing some small glitches, but rest assured, these are being atended to.

New blog posts and newsletters will commence shortly.

Thankyou for your patience over this time ~ Marian

Today is UN International Women’s Day...

While I, and many like me, celebrate the strength and achievement of women and focus on personal authenticity and self-empowerment, I would encourage us all to spend a few moments today thinking of those women whose struggle is for survival – for safety, security and sustenance. 

I found this poem – I am not sure of its origin, so if you would like it removed or acknowledged please do contact me.

A strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape…
but a woman of strength builds relationships to keep her soul in shape.
  
A strong woman isn't afraid of anything ...
but a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear.
  
A strong woman won't let anyone get the best of her...
but a woman of strength gives the best of herself to everyone.
  
A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future...
but a woman of strength realizes life's mistakes can also be unexpected blessings and capitalizes on them.
  
A strong woman wears a look of confidence on her face...
but a woman of strength wears grace.
 
A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey...
but a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong. 

Attending a short workshop at Pataka during The Festival of the Elements on Waitangi Day has proved to be a life-changing experience. After enjoying on-stage performances and sampling some of the food on offer, we headed into Pataka to watch the artists working there. Just as we were about to exit the exhibition space we heard the unmistakeable sounds of a ukulele being expertly strummed. On investigating, we found out that a workshop was being held in a couple of minutes and there were still a few places open.
 
Now, it is about a million years since I last held a ukulele in my hands! (A slight exaggeration for effect – but you get the picture, I’m sure). Way back, our youth group leader taught us three basic chords and we clumsily ker-plunked along to a surprising number of songs. Cautiously picking up the instrument, I was surprised when, without consciously thinking about it, my fingers automatically found those three chords with no help from my the thinking part of my brain! I was really taken aback, until Shane, who was leading the workshop, spoke about muscle memory – the ability of our brains and bodies to learn a complex new task until it becomes habitual.

With practice and repetition, new circuits are formed in our brain and our muscles become familiar with the movement required to form the different chords and to strum along to the rhythm. Over time the movements become almost instinctive. The life-changing part has come about because I have bought myself a natty little purple ukulele and signed up for evening classes. I’m finding it challenging and a huge amount of fun. The experience is teaching me again that the best way to learn a new task is to relax and enjoy it – and keep on practicing.