I have to admit I sometimes watch a snatch of daytime TV while having a coffee. This time it was Dr Oz. and something he said gave me pause and made me think, so I thought I would share it with you.

His guest was someone who ate only over-processed ‘comfort food’ and lacked motivation to prepare healthier meals. Dr Oz told her they would ‘take a long walk though the Truth Tube’ and proceeded to explain the results of various blood tests, etc, that showed she was at risk of diabetes and other conditions. Visibly shocked by this information, she said she ‘should try better’, but it was obvious to me watching that she just seemed to cave in on herself, weighed down, possibly by a sense of hopelessness compounded by great big helpings of self-blame.

The breakthrough came when Dr Oz asked her how she felt about herself. She answered honestly, saying that she basically didn’t feel good about herself and that the food she ate was to try to deal with those feelings, but it just ended up making her feel worse. Not only did he ask the right question, he put his arm around her while he asked it. This provided a different kind of comfort and acknowledged both her as a person and the depth of her pain, without judgement.

Sometimes there are issues in our lives that require a closer look, by walking down our own ‘Truth Tube’ to better understand what is really going on. Simply becoming aware of a problem and bringing hidden areas it into the light allows us to find ways of dealing with it. More importantly though, we need to go further and lovingly ask ourself what emotions are underlying the difficulty, without any judgement or blame. Finding ways to overcome or release these negative emotions will invigorate us as the burden of guilt is lifted and the energy we were using to beat up on ourselves is freed up to use for positive activity. Self-acceptance will provide much stronger motivation to do what is necessary to make changes.

• Are there issues in your life you feel are holding you back?
• What are the feelings that are underlying these problems?
• Could dealing with the emotions lead to greater self-acceptance and motivation to change?

Well, here it is the12th January – almost halfway through the first month of 2012. I haven’t come up for air yet, let alone found some quiet time for the reflection and contemplation required to set considered resolutions or plan for the coming year. But time has a way of passing, whether we are ready for it or not! So, did you make any New Year’s Resolutions? Have you kept them so far, or have they already fallen by the wayside?

More importantly, if you did set goals, what were they about? Were they built on your hopes and dreams of what you would like to achieve and how you would like yourself and your life to develop? Or like most people’s, were they yet another opportunity to beat up on yourself, berating yourself about all the things you feel you ‘have to’ give up or ‘must’ put into place to make yourself into a more ‘worthwhile and acceptable’ person.

Besides the act of deciding to do something towards achieving your wishes, goals and plans that we usually think of when talking about resolutions, there’s also another meaning to the word. In the context of photography, resolution refers to the amount of detail in a digital image which affects its clarity. So a high resolution image has more dots of visual information per square centimetre and it consequently looks clearer and shaper than a low-res one. It can also be blown up to a larger size allowing the viewer to see the fine points of the picture more easily.

Maybe at the beginning stages of the year the sort of ‘resolution’ we should be thinking about is not the one that defines what we ‘should’ and ‘should not’ be doing, but the one that allows us to turn our attention on ourselves and look with clear eyes and an open heart at the details and the bigger picture of our lives. This would then enable us to make more focused and appropriate decisions about who we really are and how we want to live out that truth in our daily lives.

* What do you think about New Year’s Resolutions?

* Does the idea of a ‘high resolution’ look at your life make a difference to how you might approach the ‘fresh start’ that each year offers?

It’s the end of December – a time when people traditionally take stock of the past twelve months and look forward to think about their hopes, dreams and plans for the coming year.

When looking back, it’s often the personal, national and international losses, tragedies and disasters that most immediately spring to mind. It can take a little more effort to access our memories of the good times, the pleasant events and even the moments of pure joy that took our breath away. Researchers tell us that this is because we remember things that really impact us. What stands out the most are occurrences that are different, immensely significant, or that have strong emotions attached to them. In fact, sometimes we don’t even remember the exact details too clearly, but we can re-experience the feelings quite acutely.

I once heard a speaker at a conference refer to ‘invoking the pleasure principle’. He suggested we sit quietly and remember something we had particularly enjoyed – one of the good times, and bring it into our conscious mind very vividly and clearly, feeling it with all of our senses, as if we were actually there and it was happening right now. Then we were to take note of how our body felt – the relaxation, the happiness, the pleasure of the moment. He said that with practice we could return to those feelings when we needed to, to balance out the more unpleasant experience of pain, worry or anxiety.

As you review the year, I encourage you to identify the hard times and how they affected you - and then move on. Take stock of the strengths you drew on to get you through, and acknowledge your own ability and capability. Fully know that you possess deep resourcefulness and believe that you will also have the strength to face whatever else next year may bring.

Then consider the good times. Once again access your own ‘happy place’ and look forward to the coming year with hope, anticipation and an expectation of new happy memories to be made, and pleasant new experiences to relish and enjoy.

• When looking back over the past year, what memories are the strongest?
• What is your own 'happy place' like?
• What are you most looking forward to in the coming year?

Last night there was a full lunar eclipse and I was keen to photograph it. I spent quite a bit of time scouring the internet for information on the best camera settings to use and working out what time I should be up to capture the full process. The night before, I did a dry run trying practice shots on various settings.

The evening came and I was well prepared. I had a chart of camera settings for each phase of the eclipse; my camera was on the tripod; and my alarm was set, allowing plenty of time to get up, grab a torch and a jacket and drive to the top of a nearby hill away from the distraction of streetlights.

Everything was ready, except for the weather! All day it had been cloudy, but I convinced myself that the clouds would blow away or that the moon would rise above them. I was wrong. I got a single shot of a moon-looking shape with a slight ring around it vaguely showing through the cloud and then the moon moved behind even thicker cloud and all I got was blackness.

What a let-down. Naturally enough I was disappointed, but putting it into the context of a lifetime, how important was it really? Yes, it was a missed opportunity. Yes, I was a bit tired and grumpy this morning. Yes, it would have been great to experiment further with my photography. On the other hand, I’ll get another chance in 2014 and I’ll have more time to learn the intricacies of how my new camera works and how the settings interact with each other by then, and I may achieve a better result with the extra practice.

This was a good lesson in resilience for me. Sometimes, no matter how well-intentioned, well-informed and well-prepared we are, things still go wrong. We face unexpected setbacks or what we try just doesn’t work out. It’s natural to feel bad about this, but if we look at the bigger picture we are able to put it into perspective and deal with those feelings.

What are the best ways you know to overcome disappointment?

How do you build your resilience?