Kindness is the act of giving freely with true concern for others and being helpful without expectation of reward or any other advantage. It comes from a loving heart rather than a sense of duty or a desire for influence or gain.

Kindness encompasses other virtues such as empathy, mercy and generosity. We all know stories of people who have selflessly built their lives around doing good for others less fortunate than themselves. It is also a value that is often acted out in a quiet, simple way, yet it accomplishes far more than the effort involved.

Author Leo Buscaglia reminds us that ‘Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around’.

A kind word can encourage or it can soothe someone’s hurt and pain. Giving someone our undivided attention, a listening ear, our time – all of these affirm their worth and let them know that they are not alone. Sometimes our actions relay kindness in a more compelling way than our words. Visiting a lonely elderly person; making a meal for an ill friend; taking a baby for a walk to give a tired new Mum a rest. All of these have the capacity to touch another life with a moment’s loving warmth.

The strange thing about kindness is that, even though it is a selfless act and attitude, it somehow spills over into our own life and makes us feel better about ourselves. As Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama says: ‘When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace’.

How has kindness touched your life?

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This blog has been included in the life coaching section of the list of 100 best blogs to help you find happiness. I’ve been having a wonderful time looking through some of the other blogs that have been included and enjoying what they have to say. Click here to see the whole list and become inspired and challenged, as I have been.

Happiness can seem so elusive and fleeting. How much do you need to be happy? How little does it take to make you happy? Can you really be happy even when things don’t seem to be going your way? I think you can, because happiness is a state of mind rather than an emotional response. Happiness can come from an overall positive approach to life that still allows us to experience supposedly negative feelings such as frustration, sadness and even anger.

What is happiness anyway? I believe happiness doesn’t depend on having or doing or experiencing something particularly fantastic. Instead it is based on being content with being who you are and living out your own special uniqueness in the world. It is about working from your particular strengths and expressing your deeply held values with integrity, not about buying things and having x number of friends on your social networking page.

Happiness isn’t measured by what you do or what you own, but by who you are. Some of the headings in the list give a clue of ways to connect with happiness in your life - simplicity; productivity; attitude; balance; relationships. . . Interestingly, wealth is last on the list. Rather than amassing money and possessions, when you give of yourself from a full heart you experience a deep true form of happiness that can’t be bought.

So, what does happiness mean to you? Share your thoughts.
 
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Comments:

Hi Marian,

A great blog post.  Happiness is so much an inner process.   Simple things and a strong sense of community around us can offer so much internal wellbeing.  Many remark on how happy people who live in third world countries are.  We could learn much from their approach here in the so called "developed" world.

Congrats on your blog being included in the best 100!!!!!!!!
Go well
Lynley

Comments:

Comments:

Marian,

have been reading through your website, blogs, and achievements since we last spoke - I wanted to offer my congratulations to you on finding your groove and going for it. 

I hope you can be proud of who you are!
Leah

Enormous amounts have been written about positive thinking and its potential benefits.

At one end of the spectrum authors such as Napolean Hill (Think and Grow Rich) and Rhonda Byrne (The Secret) claim that everything is possible through positive thinking – from success and happiness to health and wealth; from finding the perfect partner or the perfect job to the fulfilment of all your dreams. Just think it and it will be so: just set up the correct thought vibration, visualise and affirm your desired outcome, and hey presto, all good things will be yours.

At the other extreme authors such as Barbara Ehrenreich (Bright-Sided) and Barbara Held (Stop Smiling, Start Kvetching) are vigorously opposed to what they see as a slavish reliance on positive thinking which can lead to the kind of magical thinking that results in either extreme risk-taking or complacency and lack of action, and eventual disappointment.

So, who’s right? Or is there a middle way - possibly Positive Realism or Realistic Positivity?

Personally, I think that a balanced outlook is not only possible, it is vital to our ongoing wellbeing. It is one of life’s great paradoxes that once we accept that real life includes such things as loss, grief, pain, ageing, illness, sadness and so on, that we can then move on to build a realistically positive attitude and a possibility-focused approach to life.

Understanding our strengths helps to develop a sense of capability and a belief in an eventual positive outcome when we are faced with some of the difficult things that may come our way. Building resilience strengthens our sense of being able to weather life’s storms. Knowing that we can draw on past successes helps build our sense of self-esteem and strengthens our resolve to take the actions required to achieve our goals.

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We’ve all heard of affirmations. You might have even tried them in the past with varying rates of success. Telling yourself constantly that you are perfect may not do it for you. But I can assure you that it is possible to find affirmations that are meaningful for you and that will act in a powerful way to help you achieve your goals and help you live a life that is positive, powerful and fulfilling.

Our minds can only hold one thought at a time. Think how much better you will feel and be if that one thought is positive, affirming and life-enhancing.

When writing powerful affirmations:

o Use the positive when writing your affirmations. ‘I choose to eat healthy foods’ rather than ‘I have to cut down on fatty, sugary foods’.

o Attach passion to your affirmations. ‘I enjoy eating healthy foods every day,’ or ‘I delight in the health-giving foods I choose and eat every day.’

o State your affirmations in the present tense – you are feeling, thinking and doing them NOW. ‘I am joyfully embracing each new experience that comes my way.’

o Make your affirmations personal. What you want for your life is right for you. Don’t just pick random phrases out of a book. Choose statements that are meaningful to YOU and keep you focused on what you are achieving in your life.

o Make your affirmations believable and realistic. Aim for the stars while keeping your feet on the ground. Truly believe in what you affirm. Know that you can and will achieve.

o Keep your affirmations short so you can remember them easily and bring them to mind readily. Repeat them often.

Write three affirmations that are personal, positive, powerful, and have meaning for you. Let them express your strongest dreams and desires.