What makes you so special? This question can be read two different ways. The first is reminiscent of the playground insult jeered by a taunting schoolmate. The second is the important one – what makes you the wonderful, amazing, unique and special individual that you are?

When someone compliments you do you smile and say thankyou or do you feel a bit embarrassed and uncomfortable and try to brush the pleasant words away, feeling that you don’t really deserve the praise? Well, let me tell you – you do deserve all the praise and approval and appreciation that there is – just because you are you. None of us are here by mistake, and none of us are the people we are by mistake. You are meant to be the person you are and who you are is your most precious gift to the world.

Stop putting yourself down and comparing yourself to other people. None of us is perfect and ideas about perfection are variable anyway. Society’s ‘ideal person specification’ changes drastically over time. Winners of beauty contests when I was growing up would look positively porky on the runway today, and in earlier times ideas about behaviour meant being far more bound by definite roles and rules of etiquette than what is considered normal now. Instead of trying to fit into what you think other people want you to be like, why not spend some time getting to know who you really are and getting to like being that person?

How would your best friend describe you? Would they find anything of value to mention? Would they be pleased that you are in their life and be proud to be known as your friend? How about being your own best friend and finding something good to celebrate about being you today.

Look and you will find it -what is unsought will go undetected ~ Sophocles ~

Your life purpose involves a mix of your core values, your interests, your passions, your hopes, your dreams, and your beliefs. It gives focus and direction to your life and provides motivation and a sense of meaning which helps guide you in the way you live your life. It allows full expression and utilisation of your talents and abilities and provides stability and a sense of being on your right path, particularly when times are tough. Your purpose helps define the essence of your life and influences where you put your time, energy and other resources. It colours your view of the world and your place in it. Definitions of life purpose differ and sometimes people disagree profoundly on what it entails. What is important however, is how you define your life purpose.

Is it about finding happiness and fulfilment in your life? Is it about living in a way that is congruent with your deepest beliefs and desires? Is it based around doing what you love? Does it involve making a difference and contributing to the wellbeing of those around you, or changing the world? Is it about living the best life you can? For some people, their life purpose has been clear from an early age and they do not deviate from it. For others it is a slow awakening as to what is most important for them and how they want to live their lives. Sometimes it can be difficult to put your finger on just what your life purpose really is.

How about taking some time to answer these questions:
Who are you?
What is important to you?
What do you stand for?
What defines you as the unique individual you are?

Our dreams are strong indicators of what is really important to us. They are an embodiment of our values and passions and a vehicle for us to express who we truly are. That is their essence. Sometimes life conspires to fulfil our dreams in a different way to the one we envisioned, yet the essence of the dream remains true to the original, despite us thinking it was out of reach.

When I was young I dreamed of becoming a psychologist. My understanding of ‘psychologist’ wasn’t really all that developed, but I knew that it attracted me for some reason and that I could identify with the concept of ‘being’ that person. Time went by and life unfolded, as it does…

Along the way I never lost my interest in psychology. I read voraciously and studied people; fascinated by what motivated them to behave in certain ways and how different and how alike we all are. My big old caring heart led me in counselling and helping-type pathways and eventually a time came to again assess my life direction. Though it didn’t make sense to me at the time, something was still stopping me from pursuing formal training in psychology.

It was the essence of the dream that had drawn me rather than the way I thought it would be worked out. My focus was on human development and empowerment, on how we build self esteem and confidence, and on how I could encourage people to connect with and express their deepest levels of self and be who they truly are. When I came across coaching I ‘knew’ this is what I had been searching for – this was the true fulfilment of the essence of my dream.

What are some different ways the essence of your dream could be fulfilled?

When I am on holiday I find it quite easy to explore the place I am visiting. I get out and about and walk for ages, stopping to investigate anything that looks the slightest bit different or interesting.

Walking along the beach I stand and stare at the patterns in the wet sand left by the retreating waves or take photo after photo of the seagulls in flight or the different colours of the setting sun, trying for the picture that best captures the mood of the day. When in a new town I’m likely to wander up and down the side streets seeing if I can find the cute little café, gift shop or gallery I have seen advertised in a brochure at the information centre.

But on a day-to-day basis it is just so much easier to go to town by the same route, shop at my usual supermarket or drive straight down the main road, not even wondering what is down the side streets and never noticing the sign for the local café, picture theatre, gallery, nursery or orchard all within easy reach of where I live.

We humans are creatures of habit. We tend to get up at the same time each day, have the same thing for breakfast, shower and get dressed without taking much notice of the automatic choices we are making.

How different it is when we actually stop and think about what we are doing and take our time to look at what is right there under our noses. For a few moments we allow our attention to be captured by a new sight or sound or we feel renewed by participating in a new activity.

What new experiences make life seem fresh and help you to feel more alive and energised?