One way we build confidence is through accomplishing something successfully or well. This is called efficacy; a feeling that we are effective in what we do.
Once we get a good result through our efforts we begin to feel that if we try something new we will most probably succeed again. When we have a go we feel good about ourselves for trying, and we feel even better if we learn a new skill, solve a problem, or overcome an obstacle along the way. And so our confidence grows - step by step, little by little, one small success at a time.
But what if we don’t succeed all the time? Is our self-esteem and confidence strong enough to take the knockback of not quite getting it right or failing outright? Is our sense of self based just on doing everything perfectly, or can we feel that it is okay to be who we are and do our best whatever the outcome? In my opinion, that is something to aim for – a robust sense of self that isn’t dependant on the elusive goal of ‘perfection’ so many strive for.
Another way we can build our self-esteem and feelings of self-worth is to realise that the efforts we make are worthwhile in themselves. We learn and grow by taking some risks, by putting ourselves out there even when we aren’t sure of the outcome. Reminding ourselves of our strengths, of our ability to adapt and to apply what we already know to new situations can help us to face fresh challenges with greater belief in our own abilities. Any setbacks can then be seen as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than a surefire indication that we are ‘useless’.
What can you try this week that will challenge and inspire you?
