Self-esteem begins with accepting yourself just as you are, and knowing that you are a wonderful, worthwhile person who deserves to be happy and ought to have the best in life. How many of you went ‘yeah right!’ when you read that? Well, you’re not alone; many people have a low opinion of themself.
As well as beliefs about our own worth and inability to face life’s challenges, low self-esteem is bound up in emotions such as self-criticism, insecurity, guilt, shame and fear. Often our idea of who we are and what that counts for revolves around attempting to be who we think we ‘should’ be, trying to please everyone else, and a resulting inability to live up to those unrealistic standards, both real and imagined. These beliefs and emotions are quite powerful, but it is possible to create a more realistic and favourable image of yourself.
Healthy self-esteem is a mixture of confidence and self-respect and can be restored through self-acceptance. Confidence is about being comfortable being who you are; at ease with yourself and with the world around you. Self-respect is about believing in yourself and feeling okay; knowing that it is all right to be who you are. It isn’t based on always being perfect. You are still a worthwhile person even if you don’t always get everything right. Self-esteem is built up by knowing that you are a valuable person who is good enough no matter what, and that you are capable enough to competently and effectively do what needs to be done, even if you don’t always succeed at everything all of the time.
Accepting yourself if the starting point. It frees you to grow and develop from a strong place, not because you think you are broken and think you need to be fixed.
