Sometimes I have difficulty finding things: my short-term memory gets clogged up with a million little details and I can’t always find what I’m looking for. It was like that with the fancy footless tights I bought while on holiday. I really loved the playful pattern on them and I got a lift wearing them when I was in a frivolous mood. But I mislaid them and, look as I might, I couldn’t locate them. Their loss wasn’t earth shattering – more of a mild annoyance.

Occasionally I wondered where I had put those pretty pantyhose. With the vivid colour splashed down them they should have leapt out at me as soon as I opened the drawer. I looked for a short while and then the memory of them sort of faded away and eventually I gave up the search and put them out of my mind.

Today when tidying up my socks and stockings, I picked up a balled-up pair of black tights and shook them out. Imagine my surprise when they unravelled to reveal row upon row of bright pink polka dots. They had been there all along! I had just been seeing them from the wrong side and assumed they were ordinary, run of the mill, boring black pantyhose. I thought with regret of the occasions I could have worn them and the fun I would have had being just a little bit outrageous.

I realised that this is what we do with our lives sometimes – we look at things from the wrong side and begin to forget about the colour, interest and excitement that is actually there just waiting to be accessed. We long for a brighter existence, but we sometimes forget about the resources that we already have at our disposal should we choose to use them. After a while we just assume that this is the way things will always be.

But there is no need to give up. Look on the bright side and get in touch with your lighter playful side. You already have what it takes to live a rich, full life.  

What interests and passions have you put aside because you’ve forgotten how important they are to your sense of wellbeing?

How can you get back in touch with some of the things that make your life more worthwhile?

What will you do just for fun today?

I’ve read a couple of articles lately that posed the question ‘what is happiness?’ Various people put forward their recipes for happiness and what it means to them. Not everyone had the same idea about what elements went together to make up happiness, or even about which ones were most important. There is also some discussion in positive psychology circles about what constitutes happiness, as highly qualified professionals debate just what it is built on. The definitions seem to be getting longer and longer as the researchers grapple with how it is that some people consider themselves to be happy and others do not.

So, is happiness simply a self-centred search for constant pleasure with no regard for others or for consequences? Is it just about ‘me’ and what ‘I’ want to do and feel and experience?

Most commentators agree that it is much more than that. There seems to be quite a bit of agreement that happiness can be found through connection to others – to friends and family, to a team, to an ideal, to an organisation, to a cause bigger than the individual, to a faith in something more. Many also feel that happiness results from contributing - by helping others, showing empathy and kindness, and working for the common good.

Some people count themselves as happiest when they listen to music, take a walk in nature, spend time with their beloved pets, take part in their hobbies or lose themselves for a time in a good book or film. Finding pleasure in the small things, appreciating what you have, living fully in the moment, being creative, and undertaking activities or work that have meaning to you are all other aspects that are thought to bring about happiness.

How important is happiness to you? What makes you happy?

Please post your comments on the

Contact Marian page

It’s the first day of spring. It’s a time full of the promise of new growth and renewal. Springtime brings warmth and rest from the harsh greyness of winter. Our spirits lift and we look forward to the blossoming of plants that have lain dormant during the biting frosts and the chilling winds.

Spring is most welcome as a sign of all the good things to come. Now, my aim is to find a positive way of looking at life, but this doesn’t mean that I deny how hard the winter has been. I’ve still felt cold. I’ve still lost precious plants to the frost and I’ve still felt trapped inside on bleak rainy days when I would rather have been outside in the fresh air. But I know that winter only lasts so long and that it is always followed by spring. It’s a fact of life that helps us endure the tough times and keep looking forward with anticipation that we will once again feel the warm sun on our skin and that the trees will bud and the ground will bring forth a bounty of fresh fruit and vegetables to nourish us.

I didn’t cause spring to arrive by wishing for it. I didn’t make winter go away by pretending that it wasn’t affecting me and that I was above such feelings. The natural cycle of life is being enacted and I have learnt to believe that today heralds a new season and that summer will follow soon in all its fullness.

Life’s a bit like that. We can’t wish away the hard times, and denying the losses and pain doesn’t make them any less real. But, just as spring follows winter, it is possible to look ahead with renewed optimism and fresh hope for the future.

I invite you to share with me in welcoming the first day of spring.
How can you use this day to remind yourself of the goodness of life?

Send your COMMENTS on the form on the Contact Marian page
All comments will receive a response
This blog is for you – I would love to share your ideas and responses

This blog has been included in the life coaching section of the list of 100 best blogs to help you find happiness. I’ve been having a wonderful time looking through some of the other blogs that have been included and enjoying what they have to say. Click here to see the whole list and become inspired and challenged, as I have been.

Happiness can seem so elusive and fleeting. How much do you need to be happy? How little does it take to make you happy? Can you really be happy even when things don’t seem to be going your way? I think you can, because happiness is a state of mind rather than an emotional response. Happiness can come from an overall positive approach to life that still allows us to experience supposedly negative feelings such as frustration, sadness and even anger.

What is happiness anyway? I believe happiness doesn’t depend on having or doing or experiencing something particularly fantastic. Instead it is based on being content with being who you are and living out your own special uniqueness in the world. It is about working from your particular strengths and expressing your deeply held values with integrity, not about buying things and having x number of friends on your social networking page.

Happiness isn’t measured by what you do or what you own, but by who you are. Some of the headings in the list give a clue of ways to connect with happiness in your life - simplicity; productivity; attitude; balance; relationships. . . Interestingly, wealth is last on the list. Rather than amassing money and possessions, when you give of yourself from a full heart you experience a deep true form of happiness that can’t be bought.

So, what does happiness mean to you? Share your thoughts.
 
Go to the Contact Marian page and send your comments in the email form and I’ll add them for you.

Comments:

Hi Marian,

A great blog post.  Happiness is so much an inner process.   Simple things and a strong sense of community around us can offer so much internal wellbeing.  Many remark on how happy people who live in third world countries are.  We could learn much from their approach here in the so called "developed" world.

Congrats on your blog being included in the best 100!!!!!!!!
Go well
Lynley

Comments:

Comments:

Marian,

have been reading through your website, blogs, and achievements since we last spoke - I wanted to offer my congratulations to you on finding your groove and going for it. 

I hope you can be proud of who you are!
Leah