Last night there was a full lunar eclipse and I was keen to photograph it. I spent quite a bit of time scouring the internet for information on the best camera settings to use and working out what time I should be up to capture the full process. The night before, I did a dry run trying practice shots on various settings.

The evening came and I was well prepared. I had a chart of camera settings for each phase of the eclipse; my camera was on the tripod; and my alarm was set, allowing plenty of time to get up, grab a torch and a jacket and drive to the top of a nearby hill away from the distraction of streetlights.

Everything was ready, except for the weather! All day it had been cloudy, but I convinced myself that the clouds would blow away or that the moon would rise above them. I was wrong. I got a single shot of a moon-looking shape with a slight ring around it vaguely showing through the cloud and then the moon moved behind even thicker cloud and all I got was blackness.

What a let-down. Naturally enough I was disappointed, but putting it into the context of a lifetime, how important was it really? Yes, it was a missed opportunity. Yes, I was a bit tired and grumpy this morning. Yes, it would have been great to experiment further with my photography. On the other hand, I’ll get another chance in 2014 and I’ll have more time to learn the intricacies of how my new camera works and how the settings interact with each other by then, and I may achieve a better result with the extra practice.

This was a good lesson in resilience for me. Sometimes, no matter how well-intentioned, well-informed and well-prepared we are, things still go wrong. We face unexpected setbacks or what we try just doesn’t work out. It’s natural to feel bad about this, but if we look at the bigger picture we are able to put it into perspective and deal with those feelings.

What are the best ways you know to overcome disappointment?

How do you build your resilience?

Here in New Zealand we are 10 days out from an election and there are signs dotted along the roadside urging us to vote for particular candidates or political parties. We drove into town yesterday for the first time in a while and on turning a corner we were confronted by a really huge billboard up on the hillside right in front of us. It had quite a simple message portrayed in just a few clear words and large pictures and should have been easy to read in the short time we had between sighting it and passing by on the motorway.

At the top was something along the lines of ‘the country has only two choices’. Beneath this was a large picture of two men dressed in work gear complete with hardhats and fluro vests. Each held a sign like those used to control traffic around roadworks. One said ‘Stop’ and the other said ‘Go’ in big letters. Beneath that I barely glimpsed the top of two words, one under each picture. Presumably these were the names of the two major political parties, but I couldn’t really tell because from my vantage point in a car, looking up the hill, all I could see at that point were a number of large trees which were blocking the bottom of the billboard, which kind of defeated the purpose of having it in such a prominent position in the first place!

The opportunity to make a powerful statement, with immediate impact and a compelling message was lost because part of it was obscured, so only some of the message got across. It made me think again how important words are, and why we need to be certain that we use them well to support us in living our lives with positivity, power and purpose. I’ve recently written an eBook about this called Positive Words are Powerful. This is no airy fairy feel-good book. It has a down to earth focus which aims to balance being realistic with being optimistic, with an emphasis on attitudes and actions which build resilience and hopefulness.

You can read more and buy it at my eBook store.

How does using the ‘right words’ support you in your life?

Does only having only part of the message affect your attitude and ability to make good decisions?

Do you have examples of the power of positive words in your life? 

I’m a cautious driver and prefer to drive to the conditions, fully aware of what is happening around me rather than distracted by music or talkback on the radio. Recently I wrote about the  built-in conscience in my new car. Irritating though it is to have a voice break through the quiet, it is also helpful to be warned when I am inadvertently going too fast so that I can make good decisions about how to safely act in the circumstances. So in the end it is something I appreciate.

But what happens when the voice of caution goes too far?  One little glitch with the speed alert in the car is that it can occasionally take the idea of a speed limit too far. Sometimes it thinks that a parking lot is where I am to park and nothing else, so as soon as I start the car it begins its screeching: ‘you are over the speed limit’. Well, actually I’m not. It is still safe and reasonable and responsible to drive slowly within a parking lot, and it is here that the guidance system in the vehicle has slipped over the line of caution and definitely entered the realms of fear.

Caution becomes fear when it causes us to become too scared to act – we become frozen by anxiety or indecision, overcome by imagined problems and frightening consequences that don’t actually exist. When faced with this fearful message I have a choice about what I do next.
If I take notice of the message from my car I will become ‘stuck’, completely immobilised, and afraid to leave the confines of the airport carpark. I will then be unable to participate in all that my life has to offer me. Or I can weigh up the situation and draw on my experience of parking lots and other road journeys to make an informed decision that it is safe to move on.

The wisest course is to listen to the voice of caution but not to give in to the steely voice of fear. It’s all a matter of balance.

How do you tell the difference between caution and fear?

What works best for you when deciding which course of action to follow?

How do you overcome fear and decide to move on in your life?

I’m visiting family in Australia where I grew up.  I find it is the small differences that throw me. Yesterday I went into the city and the changes in the transport system made it a disorientating experience.
The bus had transformed itself from black and white to red. The number, which used to be 91, was 490 last time I was here: now it is M91. Not only have the colour and number been altered; both the timetable and the route the bus takes have changed too. I was still taking in all these modifications when the bus pulled into the bus stop. Imagine my surprise when I got out to find that some of the shops had disappeared and a bus terminal had taken their place, with four sets of traffic lights linking each side of the terminal and the new entrances to the train station.

By themselves these changes weren’t very large, but together they were enough to have me searching for recognisable landmarks and feeling a little unsteady and anxious about identifying the correct bus and time for the return journey. Once on the station, I saw that most of the processes such as purchasing tickets and accessing entry to the station were automated. This didn’t affect me so much, as some of these alterations had been underway on my last visit and they still fulfilled all the familiar functions, so it wasn’t really unsettling.

My reaction made me think of how we deal with change in our lives generally. We face many changes throughout our lifetime. Usually when they are gradual we adjust a bit at a time and integrate the modifications without much of a reaction and little stress. However, when the changes are sudden – whether we choose them or have them imposed on us through other people’s choices or changing circumstance – we can feel like we don’t recognise the landscape of our life. The identifiable features   seem blurred and fuzzy around the edges and it takes time to adjust. Given time we return to a new sense of normality and become more settled again.

If you are facing changes, remember to give yourself time to get used to your new way of life. It helps to focus on something that is familiar and keep to routines as much as possible so as not to feel quite so overwhelmed. What have you found has been the best way to cope with changes in your life?